Bouffant Cheese Stubble Heyday Sysiphus Oh-Oh-Niner

Welcome back to school.

The few of you who attend my class AND read my blog have realized by now that, as usual, my brain underwent a shift this summer. “Shift” is a euphemism, perhaps, for that which has happened to my little grey cells.

Not meaning to be obtuse, perhaps the most accurate way I can describe this so-called shift is to say that my brain, in seeking foreign presences and expanding beyond its accustomed cognitive limits, has disseminated, dissipated expansively, spread itself out to roughly the consistency and intensity of the lingering smell of fish frying, two weeks later. If you’ve ever lived next door to fish-fryers, you know what I mean.

I apologize, but it’s the new way I am. I can’t control it and it defies the standard form of documentation suggested by this particular forum. And so, sadly for some, I will no longer be describing in writing the daily activities of this class on this blog.

This may disappoint some people–although most likely none who are actual students of my classes. No, but it may disappoint the random selection of people who actually read this blog. Lately I’ve been hearing about some pretty odd “uses” for this blog:

  • A programmer/designer friend of mine tells me he links potential clients to this blog to give them a sense for how different “voices” in writing can give a site different kinds of tone and mood. I guess I’m pleased my multiple personality disorder could come in handy. To someone.
  • My wife links our friends and family to this blog so they can at least confirm my continuing existence on the planet. I’m not a very good correspondent. I do try to send messages with my brain to these people from time to time, but… they’re busy.
  • Various kind and ambitious teachers and teachers of teachers have linked to this blog as an example of how technology can be used to enhance classroom instruction. I’m sorry to you all. You’ve been duped: This is not a school blog–it’s actually a playground.
  • Awesome local bands have linked to this site in the hope that some of the glorious flakes of inspiration might be brushed off of my shoulders onto their eager heads. They would also like me to mention that there is an epidemic of bears fighting sharks going on in nature right now. Why, why oh nature, art thou so cruel? And what can we non-nature humans do to help? I propose a telethon/shopping spree.

Anyway, it is in this celebratory/mournful spirit that I announce the death of daily written updates to this site and the imminent arrival of the new East Hollywood Cyber English Podcast. That’s right, I’ll be cherry picking the finest, stand-n-delivirenest moments of my day, heavily editing out the inappropriate content and student rebellion, and making it available to the disinterested public and the theoretical conscientious student, in an easy-to-download, even-easier-to-listen-to audio format.

Coming soon: The voice behind the voice.



6 responses to “Bouffant Cheese Stubble Heyday Sysiphus Oh-Oh-Niner

  1. Wise words from Matt Thomas, I’m not in your class anymore :*(…. so is this an invasion???

  2. oh, oh the surreal ecstasy!
    oh the surreal ecstasy
    of mentioned thy
    in such a forum as this
    but comes with news
    so sad, and true
    the death of an
    and on,
    and on,
    and on, we weep for no one.

  3. Then I won’t have anything to look forward to when I accidentally click the link to your blog in my bookmarks, go “Oh yeah, I wonder if Matt updated his school/class blog in the middle of the summer.” and then poke curiously through it, reminisce, use the other class blogs to stalk friends, and create run on sentences that make an English teacher frown.

    Three more things.

    a) You just ruined the rest of the hour for me. thanks a lot. That’s fifteen minutes that I could have been cheery.

    b) I think I said too much in the first paragraph of this comment… if one run-on sentence counts as a paragraph.


    have a great school year, you’re probably the best english teacher I ever had.

    your former student, Tasha. who you probably don’t remember.

  4. I’m looking forward to the podcast. I’ve been doing a podcast since I was thirteen.

    What equipment will you be using?


    p.s. You should hurry! The first trimester is coming to a close

  5. Come back ;_;

  6. Not sure if my name has a clickable link to my new blog, but if you are curios:

    Click it! 😀

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